You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3
God brought this verse to my attention yesterday and I should have written this then. I started and only wrote one paragraph. To be honest I haven't been myself lately. I have been a total wreck to tell you the truth. Please allow me to tell you about what am going through and the lesson I learned.
On March 14th I received a text message and this is what it said. Hi Leslie this is Kim Linda's daughter. Will you call me when you get a chance? Linda is my best friend whom I've known for almost forty years. I got her daughter's number just in case something ever happens. So, when I read this text I thought the worst thing ever had happened. In 2020 Linda had cervical cancer and had a hysterectomy only because her daughter asked her to because she needed her mother. Apparently they didn't remove all the cancer. After that Linda said, she didn't want chemo and her daughter agreed that was her decision to make.
As heartbreaking as that was to hear I just kept on praying for God to heal her.
When I called Kim back she informed me that Linda has stage four liver cancer. It has spread to her kidneys and lungs. Kim also told me if Linda didn't answer the phone or didn't want to see me not to take it personal. I assured that I wouldn't. Linda is sleeping a lot and is on heavy medication for pain. I remained strong on the phone then cried as soon as I hung up.
I couldn't reach Linda by phone until March 17th which was a brief conversation. I was eating breakfast with friends and she was on her way to see the doctor. We both said, I love you to each other and I told her I would call her everyday just to say I love you. She chuckled and said, okay then we said, good-bye. I have called her everyday except last Sunday only to hear a recording this person is unable to receive messages at this time.
After four more days I was still unable to reach her by phone and the last thing I knew was she was going to see the doctor. I was too afraid to call her daughter and really wasn't sure if I wanted to know how Linda was doing. Guess what after Bible study I got in touch with her.
Here is the truth. By the 21st I was a total wreck! I hadn't been reading my Bible on a daily basis and I wasn't praying as often as I normally do either. Needless to say I was focused on my circumstances rather than focusing on God. God uses me to pray healing prayers for people and I am very thankful for the way God uses me. I have seen people healed and I know our prayers are powerful. I also know that sometimes the answer is no and they won't be healed here on earth. Yesterday a friend sent me a message to read 2 Kings chapter 20 God can also change His mind.
On Tuesday the 21st even though I was a wreck and didn't want to go to Bible study I went anyway. I have learned that when we really don't feel like attending a Bible study or church those are the times we need to show up. I had prayed for strength that morning just to get me through the day. Honestly I was such a mess I couldn't even focus on what was being said. Eventually I told the group what was really bothering me. I always think I need to pray for strength to get through the day when I am not feeling well physically, emotionally, or spiritually. A dear friend of mine Shelly told me that what I needed was peace. Lesson learned! Once that heavy spirit was lifted I received peace.
All we need to do is tell God I trust you no matter what our circumstances look like. After all He is so much bigger than the storms we are in. Remember He is always with us. Then we fix our thoughts on God. In return He gives us perfect peace. This perfect peace we receive is freedom from all the internal commotion we let settle in our heart and mind, eventually sinking into our soul. When we are living with fear, anger, anxiety, depression, or anything of the sort we can still be at peace. God is able to quiet our mind, calm our heart, and give us tranquility for our soul.
Here is one more thing on my mind that I am thankful for. While attending Bible study since we are in a season of growing I am going to write my own study on "Getting to Know the Love of God" and teach others.