In panic I cried out, "I am cut off from the Lord!" But you heard my cry for mercy and answered my call for help. Psalm 31:22
Like Paul today I am going to boast of my weaknesses. I am going to show you my vulnerable side. This is very embarrassing by the way, but I don't think you will judge me. Before I begin I understand why Paul did this. He demonstrates the grace and mercy God shows him and points everything back to God. We all want to portray the side of us that is good and pleasing to the eye of others. This is our way of showing them we have it all together. All of us have flaws and weaknesses and no one has it all together.
I allowed my faith to grow cold and spiraled down so far I fell into the panic zone. In the midst of financial trouble and feeling like no matter what I did it wasn't good enough. I got to the point where I would try to pray and couldn't. I could start a prayer but then just became silent after only a few words. I had a lack of trust in God and His timing. At one point someone was talking about God and said He probably cursed. I didn't correct them or defend God. I was in such a panic I was ready to give up on everything.
While I was in the panic zone, ranting and raving, saying I give up and... I finally cried out to God and said, " Do you even see me? Do you really know what is going on right now? I can't take anymore not one more thing or I will break!" It has been a long time since I have questioned God like that and I hope I never do it again. So, then of course, I had to ask for forgiveness!
Later that day I got an answer to my prayer. Despite everything I went through, losing my patience, acting out in anger, questioning God, and doubting that He even acknowledged me He still came through just as He always does. When we hit bottom the only place to look is up and there you will find God looking down waiting on you with open arms drawing us back to Him and showing us His love through it all. I got a phone call from a friend that I haven't talked to in over a year. After asking if I was home she said, "God told her to bring us certain amount of money." This far exceeded what we would ask or think for. It was enough to pull us out of debt and fill the house full of groceries along with a new deepfreeze.
I wanted to be honest with you and also show you how God works on our behalf. If you are facing a desperate situation don't lose hope. Stay in faith and do your best to be patient while waiting. God just might be in the process of sending someone your way. Hold on for one more day and you might just get a miracle. Sometimes the longer you wait the bigger the blessing! God promises to take care of us and He knows exactly what we need and when we need it! Do you believe it? Even if you have a little doubt ask God to help you with your unbelief.
Think about the times you have needed God. How He always showed up just in the nick of time. He is certain to do it again!
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